Summer is here and that means bikini, tankini and swimsuit season. Many women and men will make up any excuses to avoid going to the beach because they are too ashamed of their bodies. Many of us unconsciously speak the “language of fat” which is the actual nagging, or that constant negative voice in our heads that tells us, day in and day out, that because of the way we look, we are not living the life we want. The Language of Fat is the overall sense of dissatisfaction in our lives. We often think that we are unfulfilled in our jobs, relationships, or self-esteem because of the way we look and that somehow we will not be happy until we look a certain way. Unfortunately, no one is immune to the power of this language.

As Jess Weiner explains it in her book “Do I look Fat in This”, the words “I feel fat” does not mean what it implies because “fat” is not a feeling or an emotion. Fat has become a catchall word that can actually mean many different things, such as I feel sad, I feel lonely, I feel overwhelmed, I feel powerless. It is much easier to hear ourselves say “I don’t want to be fat,” rather than, “I am afraid of being unloved or unworthy”. The latter is much more painful to hear.

If you hear anyone speak the language of fat, call them on it and tell them that it hurts to hear them say things like that about themselves or tell them that you don’t speak the language of fat. You can rather ask them what they truly feel and need and what you can do to help.

Remember, life does not start 5 or 10 pounds from now. Life is worth more than the number of calories you eat during the day or the number of times you run around the track. You have the power to design and live the life you desire.

Rachel Lefebvre, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist specializing in stress management and mind/body medicine. She completed training at Massachusetts General Hospital / Harvard Medical School and at the Domar Center for Complementary Medicine in Boston. For more information call 321-536-1724 or visit www.girlfriendshealth.com

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