Are you a perfectionist? Do you tend to want something “just right” or not at all? Do you avoid asking for help for fear of being perceived as weak? Do you obsess about mistakes you have made in the past? Answering yes to some of these questions may indicate some perfectionist traits in you.

A dose of “normal” perfectionism can be healthy as it makes you strive for reasonable and realistic standards that lead to a sense of self-satisfaction. However, perfectionism can lead to unrealistic and often unachievable expectations. Constantly not living up to one’s expectations can in turn lead to poor self-esteem. In fact, research has shown that perfectionism creates a vulnerability to depression.

Perfectionism can also create performance anxiety because one becomes constantly afraid of failure, it can take a toll on your health due to the stress, worry and loss of sleep, and it can generate diffi culties in interpersonal relationships because you expect too much of others. Here’s a list of things that you can do to help deal with perfectionism:

• Start by making a list of everything you need to do

• Establish priorities this will help you to see what needs to be done first.

• Set realistic expectations this will help you realize that there are not
enough hours in the day to get everything done that you would like to accomplish.

• Recognize that no one expects you to be perfect all of the time. We all make mistakes, humans are fallible.

• Realize you can’t be perfect all of the time.

• See “mistakes” as necessary for learning and growth

• Practice patience and self-forgiveness.

• Give yourself a break and focus on all the things you have accomplished.

Learn to speak positively to yourself and give yourself a pat on the back every time you accomplish something.

Rachel Lefebvre, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist specializing in stress management and mind/body medicine. She completed training at Massachusetts General Hospital / Harvard Medical School and at the Domar Center for Complementary Medicine in Boston. For more information call 321-536-1724 or visit www.girlfriendshealth.com

 

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